Crash, Boom, Bang, Weekend!

As you are probably aware, no blogs on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Crash, my computer went down on Saturday after noon. Ok, so I didn’t have any good news to write anyway, but still, I was looking forward to my blogging! I did absolutely nothing on Friday. The weather was dreadful, even the old boy said ‘You probably won’t want to go jogging today’ Boy was he so right, But I didn’t do any dancing in the kitchen that day either, but I decided not to beat myself up about things like that, I have a nagging sister to do that for me.

On Saturday I went for my run after a nagging from the old boy (I wonder if he has been taking lessons off nagging sister?). The old boy had to do the timing for me, I had forgotten to charge up my mobile! I was just hoping that he does it like I do, start the clock as soon as I start running from the lamppost outside my house and then stop it the second my foot passes it on the return!

Now remembering that my time on Thursday as 15:09 I had a feeling that that will remain my personal best (after all it is the day after the Friday night drinkies) I still pushed my self had. I didn’t want to get a sixteen something.

Checking that the old boy had the stopwatch ready (I would have taken it myself but the old boy was on call, so I couldn’t take his phone) I jogged off. It was a hard slog, I’m sure I can still feel the beer sloshing around mixing up with the chicken bits, (yuck, what a revolting thought, I must try and choose a healthier late night beer munchies) I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere near my time I did on Thursday, but I still nagged myself, and had nagging sisters voice nagging, and the thought of the old boy on the stopwatch, watching it creeping up, counting the seconds.

Needless to say, I didn’t do too well, in fact the old boy said as he opened the door ‘you lazy old mare, what took you so long’ Well it wasn’t that long, it was infact 15:55, nearly 16 mins, I am so glad I pushed myself a little extra at the end!

Sunday was too bad a day, the sun was shining, it was warm out, and I felt good,……not! What with the hours missing sleep due to the clocks going forward the thought of my computer going into melt down, giving me a “Cod Purple Configuration Error” what on earth does all that mean!! I still did better than yesterday though, which I was fairly pleased with, 15:44 seconds to be precise. I think Thursdays time must have been a fluke, or I might have had the wind blowing me along on the way there and on the way back!

Monday now, and of course nagging sister and new recruit. But, today new recruit has cried off, she has a stomach ache! I think she had too much of a grilling from nagging sister, or she may have had to much grilling! Grilled sausage, grilled bacon, grilled tomatoes, hmmmm I’m getting hungry writing this stuff!

So where was I, oh yes, nagging sister is explaining to me that new recruit is not coming so today she suggests that we go as far as turn around lamppost and back home again. She wants to see herself how fast her own time is doing this jog! I can just imagine it being in the single numbers, ‘Very encouraging’ I think to myself, ‘I just want to know for myself’ says nagging sister, I think its to ‘encourage me to go faster, and maybe knock her block off……..I mean try and emulate her!

We start off the same time, same pace and chatting away to each other, exactly like it says in all the leaflets and books and what not about how you must jog but be able to carry on a conversation. If by conversation they mean grunts, moans and gurgles then that is what I have been doing! Nagging sister ask how far I normally jog to and I say to her in a very breathless way ‘to five posts and slightly beyond’ but I know I did quite get the ‘slightly beyond bit out’. That is exactly what I did today, to five posts and beyond slightly behind nagging sister, but only by a second, until I had to start walking. ‘come on’ she calls out too me, and she sounds as if she has jus got out of bed! ‘keep jogging’ she says naggingly. ‘go on, you go on with out me’ and that is what she did. She left me, I saw her sprinting up the rest of the path, reach the ally bit and not even look as if she is slowing down. I on the other hand walked to the next lamppost and carried on jogging until the ally bit. I took a deep breath and I could see that nagging sister was at the end of the ally bit, now I’m now good with distance but its maybe two or three hundred meters, I’m sure those who know me will tell me that I cam completely wrong, but nagging sister was one end and I was the other. She got to turn around lamppost and was heading back home while I was still stuck in the middle of the ally, grinding my teeth that I will have to pass her! I get to turn around lamppost and start heading home again, hoping that nagging sister is still in the ally, but she is no where to be seen, ‘she is more probably at five posts now’ I said to my self, it is not a good encouragement to see your ‘personal trainer’ head off in the distance while your flailing about trying to jump the soggy, spreading dog poo!

As I immerged out of the ally, I saw sister just turn the corner at five posts. There is no way in heaven or hell that I was catching up to her. ‘just enjoy another walk’ I convince myself. ‘I can always blame nagging sister for making me feel inadequate when I get home’

I didn’t think about the time, I tried to do my best and get to torture point as quick as my little fat legs could get me there. I crossed over the road, took a deep breath and ran as fast as I could, as I passed the houses I could see nagging sister, “lounging” on my wall outside my house. She couldn’t have made it more obvious that she was the ‘winner’ it she tried. I urged myself to go faster, but my legs were not listening, and I got to my gate a sweaty, breathless, heap of a human being that you can imagine.

Eventually we compare times, mine was 7:42 at turn around lamppost and 15:34 to the end. Not bad, not good, but not bad, still better than yesterdays. And of course loads of room for improvement.

Oh I suppose I better mention nagging sisters time, 6:51 at turn around lamppost and 12:56 on the home stretch! Grrrrrr, gnarl, grinding teeth.!!

So in honour of nagging sisters effort just a little anecdote for you reading pleasure.

As I explained up above, my computer has virtually died on me, so I tell nagging sister that I may come around to here house on Thursday to write up the blogs. But she said to me, and I quote ‘why don’t you write them out and email me today’s one, and I can add it on for you!’ hmm, she may be taller, younger, fitter and have no grey hair under her blonde hair, but neither is there any ‘grey matter’ I obviously got her share!

Bang! There goes nagging sisters street cred!

Struggle, What struggle?!

This old girl is not so old!! This old girl can give it what’s what, when its needed! Needless to say I did really well today. But I totally surprised myself. I thought I did worse that yesterday, I really don’t get it. When I think I have done good, it turns out that I was like an eighty year old with a zimmer frame, and when I think I did, well, crap, then I have to look at the stopwatch several times, wiping sweat from my brow to keep checking that its right. I was like lightening today!

I still haven’t got the little fella so I can go out and do the mile jog. To be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it. I was hoping to have the little fella today, apart from the fact that I’ve missed his cheeky little face, but then I wouldn’t have to go out there and bust a gut to just grab a few seconds back from yesterdays time. I didn’t even have to get up for the school run today, I could have stayed in bed until two thirty in the afternoon and then rushed around and do the housework before anyone came home.

But the voice is back in my head, my goal to jog the whole three miles of the ‘Race for Life’ is always on my mind, and the thought of my mum whose inspiration has got me off my backside to do something is a strong as ever, finally kicked my out of my bed at eight thirty this morning.

So after reading the paper, having my yoghurt and my cup of tea, I think about what it is that I have to do. Sister calls me to interrupt my thoughts, ‘Blimey she must have sixth sense’ I was thinking ‘Here comes the nagging’ but no nagging from sister. ‘Maybe I should just do some vigorous dancing in the kitchen then’ I was thinking after I put the phone down. But the voice in my head wasn’t going to let me do that. Then I remembered the time yesterday, I felt determined that I got to beat that, so I started my warm ups. It almost seemed a half hearted warm up I really didn’t want to do it, I was so disappointed yesterday, maybe that is what is in the back of my mind. But not doing it will not help me to beat that. One last stretch, check I have my key tied to my joggers and my mobile phone at the ready I head for the door.

There were men cutting the grass outside and it smelled so nice. ‘Yep,’ I thought to myself ‘This could be a good time’ well anything to try and get me motivated this morning, and I started my stopwatch and off I went. I got to as far as the top of the road and I was seriously thinking I needed to stop and catch my breath. Maybe I hadn’t warmed up enough, it was kind of a mediocre effort this morning. But I carried on, ’If I can get to the five posts then there is every chance of at least matching yesterdays time’ I thought to myself.

It really is an effort today, almost to the point where I would get to five posts and turn and go home. But that is defeatist thinking. Just remember why you are doing this, in whose memory its for, and whose beautiful face is going to be on our tee shirts. Onward to turnaround lamppost, knowing that from next week that is going to be a passing lamppost!

Homeward bound at last, saying good morning to the lady walker, no dog owners this morning and always hurdling over the dogs doing (but now they have been flattened by the rain and spreading over the path!). Through the ally onto the next lamppost and then walk. But I walk two lampposts. I am really annoyed with myself. ’what is stopping you from jogging’ I ask myself, ’is it the breathlessness, aching limbs’ I couldn’t actually pinpoint anything that was stopping from jogging so after the nagging I gave myself, and trying to imagine nagging sister with me, I jogged on.

Now I am a torture point. The part of the mile when nagging sister has decided that this is a good time to sprint to my house. I cross over the road, I look ahead of me, take a deep breath and then start running. I can almost hear myself willing me to go faster, go faster, go faster. I even feel myself slowing down and speeding up again.

‘Yes’ I shout very loudly, in my head as I reach my gate, because by now there was not a bit of breath left in me, I push the button to stop the clock. And slowly make my way to the door, I look at the time, 15,17:27 ’ Well that’s not bad, better than yesterday’ I open the door and look at again at my watch, 15:19:30, it was still going. Then I looked more carefully at the clock and I realised my time was actually 15:09:58. After looking and looking again realised I had read the wrong time! I was so pleased with myself, and I quickly texted the old boy and nagging sister of my quickest run ever to brag!

A Huge Sigh Day!

It wasn’t a good start to the day when nagging sister called me from her sick bed. ‘I won’t be able to go on our bike ride today’ She said through her blocked nose, making her sound like she is underwater. ‘If it was just a blocked nose I would still come’ she said bravely, ‘But all my limbs ache and I just don’t have the energy’

I was thinking to myself that maybe nagging sister had pushed new recruit too hard and new recruit had slipped her a ‘Mickey Finn’ or something, but I’m sure new recruit said she went straight home and didn’t move until this morning, something about her legs not working properly.

Its down to me again, and hopefully nagging sisters subliminal gentle persuasions to ‘Move my backside’ would kick in. So I dutifully waved the young girl off to her school, I really should have taken the bikes, but I had told myself I would push my self extra hard instead. And I came home and started my warm ups. I was booging on down to some great tunes, and I was thinking to myself maybe I will stay here and just do this, but, No, knowing that nagging sister had told me that I need to beat my time of yesterday, in preparation for going further a field next week, I set up my mobile to the stopwatch function and went outside.

It is a lovely morning, not cold at all, I feel positive, again, that I can do better this time. But with no nagging sister here, and no new recruit to impress, it was having an effect on me. Thinking about poor nagging sister feeling horrible and me out here in the glorious sunshine, maybe I should have nagged her to get up and get out. Sweat that darn cold out of her instead. That is supposed to be good for you, right?

I start my jog at a fairly reasonable pace, maybe a bit faster than nagging sister goes when she is with me, but I feel I can keep this pace up until the end. I jogged my little black and white strippey socks of, I reached five posts without stopping and even shot passed to the next lampposts nagging myself to go further, Oh, poor nagging sister, and poor new recruit with her sore legs, but push on I must. I can’t let sentiment get to me, I think to myself. I am doing well, and I reach the first lamppost where I need to start walking, ‘Well that’s not too bad , old girl’ I congratulate myself, and then I stupidly check my stopwatch, ‘What, how can that be, I jogged nearly all the way how can the time show that!’ The time was 6 minuets and something, I was too annoyed with myeself to look at the other numbers. and I still had to get to turn around lamppost. I start to think if actually I had been walking and not noticed, but my body was saying to me that no way did I do any walking until now. I feel a bit disappointed with myself but I pick up my pace from the next lamppost. I think I walked just a couple more times after that before I started on the jog back. My split time at turn around lamppost was a very disappointing 7:44:82 so I really tell myself off and punish myself by jogging all the way through the ally and on passed two more lampposts before I took my next walk.

If you have gathered my now my time wasn’t as good as yesterdays, it in fact the time was 15:49:95! and I really thought I had pushed myself hard today, maybe it was the thought of nagging sister lying in her house, in the warm, no exercising, probably eating grapes and left over Easter eggs, and more than likely watching day time rubbish on the telly, laughing at me through her ‘Man Cold’ bunged up nose. Yeah, that’s it, I shall blame nagging sister, its her fault that my time wasn’t good today. Next time though, you watch.!.

The sun is Shining, its a Good Day

Ok, now that we have all had a laugh at the old girl in her tracksuit, perhaps you may want to continue reading!

As I promised myself, I weighed and measured and noted down everything! I was quite disappointed with the results of these things, but nagging sister has nagged again and told me to write them down here, for all to see, especially me, so that I know that what I am doing is in fact ‘doing me some good’ So for those who don’t want to be bored, and I feel and hope that is the case, then skip this paragraph and go to the next. I shall write all numbers in letters, that way when you look at them they just look like writing. Top of each arm is fourteen inches, chest and other bits are thirty five and forty inches respectively and the waist is thirty three, hips forty two and legs at the top part is a very depressing twenty seven. But the thing which I am disappointed in is my weight with has gone up again to twelve stone and eleven and quarter pounds!

OK so that’s that done and now for the bestest bit ever! My time today is 15:30:82 and nagging sisters time is 15:55:53. Oh, have I written it down correctly, Is it in the wrong order? NO I beat nagging sister on that stretch of path!

We started off at the same time, a nice gentle pace that I can’t seem to start off with unless nagging sister is with me, and we round the corner, still jogging, no stopping until we reach the beginning of the path. A nice gentle jog, I really feel as if I can jog the whole way today, well two days rest I should have two days energy, right?! We see the usual people, the friendly dog walkers, the golfers and I feel very comfortable indeed. ‘If you need to stop any time just say’ I shout to the back of me, where nagging sister is. ‘You go on old girl’ she calls back to me ‘You are keeping an eye on your time’ she says helpfully. So off I go, quick glance at the stopwatch (still need to get a proper one) and here comes my first lamppost where I want to walk from. I feel quite pleased with myself, ‘its not an embarrassing length of jogging’ I think to myself ‘Go on, don’t stop keep on running’ nagging sister calls out to me, by now she is at least 50 meters behind me. And I did indeed jog on. I push myself through the ally bit, and try to jog to the turn around lamppost. I didn’t check my split time, I don’t want to accidentally push any buttons today, not with nagging sister behind me, and head off on the homeward journey.


It felt good to pass sister, who was not even at turnaround lamppost when I reached the ally bit. ‘Got to keep on going’ I think to my self, ‘got to beat my time’ Nagging sister notices that I am walking to the next lamppost from way back, and shouts out to me like an old fishwife, ‘Keep those arms up, walk faster!

It is so very hard to concentrate on pacing myself so that I can beat my time, plus keep a listen out of nagging sister and still hurdle over the dogs doing! But I feel I am doing really well. This could be the under 15 minuets time it certainly feels good. But I’m wondering if that is just because nagging sister is behind.

On to the stretch of the road where nagging sisters has her last piece of torture for us, the sprint to my house. I try not to squeeze my hand on my phone, I don’t want any accidental pushing of buttons, I really want to see how far sister is behind me. Running to the gate, all the while listening out for nagging sister. Made it, I stop my time and its 15:30:82 That’s quicker than ever, I feel real pleased with myself, and then I hear nagging sister, ‘come on that’s it, as fast as you can!’ I stop the time again and her time is 15:55:53 a whole twenty seconds behind, and then I stop the clock again as nagging sister newest recruit comes in at 16:09:03! Oh did I forget to mention that nagging sister has been recruiting more ‘willing’ victims for the ‘Race for life’. I am so sorry. New recruit came in quicker than I did on my first time out on that stretch of path, and I patted her on her back and sympathised with her after the nagging she had from nagging sister.

But, I was still quicker that nagging sister! ‘I feel good, der, ner ner ner ner ner ner, Like I knew that I would now, der ner ner ner ner ner ner.!’


p.s. the pictures up the top are of nagging sister and new recruit, and me in my trendy new tracksuit, I thought you may all have a laugh and get it over and done with!

Easter Monday

It is still snowing outside, and I have decided to have another day off, as it’s the holidays. The snow is not settling but it is coming down quite heavy. Even a good nagging from the old boy could not get me out of my bed. You know the sort of nagging just like the Bart and Lisa Simpson episode to get Homer to take them to the park or whatever it was.

I am writing this little bit today and I can’t believe what I am thinking. In my head is nagging sisters voice. Not only does she nag me when we go out running or cycling together, or when I am jogging by myself. And even yesterday, she nagged me about not doing any exercise and about my writing for that day! But now, when I am not doing anything and it’s a good decision not to do anything, she is in my head again, naggining me about not writting anything boring! Maybe she should write about nothing and make it sound interesting!

So today’s page is just this. I am having a full two days off keeping fit, and I have not giving up at the first hurdle as the old boy said this morning. In fact he did say ‘I knew it wouldn’t last long’ But let me assure you all who are reading this, and to remind myself too, I have not given up. I shall be back to it tomorrow come snow or shine, or even the dreaded rain!

Did someone mention spring?

Snow, no jogging today!

I'm sure I heard on the radio that only three days ago was the first day of spring! And look at it! Snow, lovely, fluffy, cold, wet snow. Because you know what this means? It means I haven’t developed an obsession about this keep fit after all. I have indeed just a normal healthy interest in being healthier. Because there is no way that I’m going out there today. If there are people out there, in this, then they are just crazy! And its probably just as well really I don't go out, after all Him upstairs decided to have a rest day at least for one day a week, and I have realised its been a while since I have had a break from the keep fit malarkey. I’m including the Thursday shopping day in that too. All that bending and stretching to try new jog pants and sweat shirts on, is a workout in itself.

So I am having a day off! I have no housework to get on with, the old boy is a work and young son is under my feet and in my fridge, freezer in fact, anywhere where is food! (lucky little skinny, fat burning young person, mumble, grumble)

I had weighed myself this morning and to my horror I had put on a pound. I could quite easily give up dieting and exercise like all the other times I have tried before. The Weightwatchers, the counting calories, letting the old boy do all the cooking. It worked for a while, but it never continued. After beating myself up, (I had remembered the extra couple of pints of lager I had on Saturday, and the snickers choccie bar) I told myself, ‘These things will happen’ And I’m sure they will again.

So on Tuesday I am going to weigh myself, and measure all relevant parts of my body and jot them down here. And just keep an eye on those things through this struggle too. I feel as if I am slightly smaller because my jeans are so much roomier than they have been, an extra notch on my belt is being used and I’m sure someone did say to me a few days ago ‘Are you losing weight?’ Which of course bought about a broad smile on my red sweaty face.

Nagging sister has just popped in with my middle daughter. They are off to the pub! Lucky, skinny fit active persons! But before she went nagging sister read this blog before I published it. ‘Why are you going bore us with those recipes’ She said. ‘Because I have nothing else to write about’ I explain to nagging sister. ‘Well why are you not out running, its stopped snowing’ She says. And this coming from her who is about to go off with my middle daughter and nagging sisters daughter for a nice lunch and drinkies! Mutter crumble. Oh how I hate………….Oh I don’t know but there must be something that I hate right now.

So this is it, I am not going to bore you with recipes, this all am going to write. I shall indeed write nothing, well nothing apart from what I have already written. After all this is the holidays, and its Sunday, it is a resting day.

Its Raining!

Oh thank goodness, I heap more thanks to Him above. Nagging sister and I both decided that we do not do any sort of workout in the rain. I hate the rain it makes my hair curl. Thank goodness for GHD’s!

I was thinking to myself this would be a good time to write about my diet, or complete life style change really, but that is not going to happen. Let me tell you why. Its been two weeks and four days since I started this immense struggle of mine to get fitter. Only now does the old boy really start to ‘gently’ persuade me to keep going ‘Now that you started, you don’t want to take any breaks’

I was in no fit state to go out ‘there’ its cold, its windy, its raining! And I was out last night! All very good reasons to not do anything today. Maybe if the old boy and young son do stuff in the garden, then I can throw a few shapes in the kitchen to some good shape throwing music. (Well my guys don’t need GHD’s so they don’t care about getting wet while DIYing)

But that is not the case today. ‘Its stopped raining’ says the old boy looking out of the window ‘You know you will feel pleased with yourself if you go out today’ I grumble to my self, its like having nagging sister living with me, oo shudder the thought. But I did get out of my bed, it does indeed look like the sun is going to come out, so maybe the old boy is right.

Off down the stairs put some tunes on to warm myself up much to my joy the rain comes back. ‘I’m not going in the rain’ I shout out to the old boy ‘I mean it really is coming down, and it looks like snow too’ I protest at him. Surely he would agree with me, and have sympathy for me, after all it is the holidays. No such luck, ‘Its passing, just go out its only 15 minuets and you never know you might even run faster’

All warmed up I check the window to see if it has stopped, darn it, it has! I feel as if I am being tested, maybe the old boy is encouraging me to go out in the rain to see how committed I am at this keep fit lark ‘what if its raining on the day of the ‘Race for Life’ he says to me ‘Well of course I will still do it then, wouldn’t I’ I say defeatingly.

I wait for a lull in the rain, its not too bad now, I can put my hood up, gloves on and just attack this days jog with all that I have, which is not a lot after last nights 4 pints of lager and a packet of quavers in the pub and some chicken bits that we had when we got home.

I tell the old boy to start his stopwatch, because I didn’t want to take mine if it starts to rain again, and I open the door. Its raining again! Its cold, and its not even half past nine on a Saturday morning, during the holidays. What am I doing. I must be completely mad, or maybe now I have developed an obsession! Is that healthy? I’, don’t know. I shout to the old boy, ‘right I’m off then’ and with that I bound out of the door before the sweet voice of sanity changed my mind.

I really am not enjoying this at all, its wet and all I want to do is go back home, I look up to Him upstairs with pleading eyes, ‘Please?’ I just say. Before I get half way to the five posts, (and five posts is half way to turn around lamppost) it has stopped raining. ‘Thank you’ I say, looking heavenwards. I also meet, on the way running in the opposite direction, a fellow jogger. He must do this sort of thing all the time, he has a sports water bottle and bright yellow rain jacket and everything ‘Morning’ he says to me. It looks as if he has been out for ages, he is so wet. ‘Morning’ I call back to him. Now I am feeling proud of myself, I am one of the professional joggers, going out even in the rain. You wait until I tell nagging sister. Oh, nagging sister, I need her here today really, I think I over did the pace again, because I am flagging, and wanting to do some more walking. So I imagine her there with me, her hair going all limp in the rain, and her makeup running down her face, why on earth does she puts makeup on to go jogging I don’t know. If I did that it would just all melt of my face and I will look like Alice cooper who has just done a 4 hour gig in the desert!

I hear the voice in my head, pushing me on to turn around lamppost, ‘Lets run though to the end of the ally bit now, old girl’ I hear the voice telling me, ‘That’s it, now you can see turn around lamppost, run straight on to there. ‘Stuff that’ I said out loud, and I look around to see if any was in ear shot. Well of course they’re not, its been raining, its cold, its nine twenty something in the morning and IT’S THE HOLIDAYS.

Lets just say, that I had to really push myself back on the return journey. I had no idea what the time was, if I had beaten my split time to turnaround lamppost, I was just hoping and praying that I was quicker. I must be, I have been running my socks off because its cold and I want to get home. Again from the corner of the road I decide to sprint the last bit to my house, it feels quicker, I feel good about the time, it must be quicker. I bang on the door for the old boy to stop the stopwatch and crawl round the side to get in the warm. ‘How did I do’ I say to the old boy, please please please. ‘16:03 you’re a bit slower!

How comes, I was so certain, maybe I just can’t physically go any faster than this. Maybe I am not supposed to go any faster than this. Or, I think cunningly, maybe my wet clothes slowed me down! Oh yes, you wait until next time, then you’ll see……