It would be nice to have a day off. A day off what, I don’t know. I’m still doing the jogging, all by myself today, I might add, and doing the housework and washing. But it was good when the old boy suggest we go look for paving slabs for the patio. Before that though he had me humping in five six foot fence panels but that is not what I am writing about. I have eleven weeks or there abouts to get fit for a run of three miles. Again, this morning, the voice in my head saying, ‘You’re coming to the tip with me this morning, son’. Hang on, that’s not the voice telling me to get out of bed. Where is my motivator. Have I killed the voice with beer and takeaway? I need that voice, oh my word, please don’t let my training be just down to me. I would stay in this bed if it was down to just me. But there it was, or rather wasn’t. No nagging imaginary voice getting me out of bed, and no son to take the p*** ..erm…. mickey out of me as I try to jog this blooming, supposedly, one mile. There is no other alternative, I, me, the old girl, am going to have to drag my big fat ask no questions backside out of this bed. This is no easy thing, I may tell you, as you have probably gathered, last night was Friday night! Its my Friday night, where me and the old boy go and have a few beverages of the alcoholic type, in a nice quiet boozer somewhere. I feel sluggish, I feel fat and I feel like I don’t want to get out of my nice warm bed. Hang on though, I didn’t do my usual drinking. Was there a new imaginary voice controlling my body instead last night. Did the imaginary new voice in my head shake my head ‘no’ instead of nodding ‘yes’ when I was offered another drink. Ha ha! I’ve cracked it. My body is a temple! I will not put poison into it. Two pints is enough for anybody. No, that was not the problem. Only two pints of lager, surely that can’t keep me in my nice warm comfortable bed. Last night can’t possible be the reason why I am feeling like a whale out of water.
Oh how wrong I was. The only reason my head was shaking no to a beer last night is because it was nodding yes to a Thai red chicken curry. At ten forty five at night that is not a good thing!
So regrettably I must say, that yes, I did temporary quieten my little voice in my head with the usual after beer hunger. I indeed feel yuck when I woke this morning, even though it was not a ‘beer yuck’
I eventually dragged my bloated body out of the bed, put on my trackies and shrunken hoody and dutifully ran down the stairs to start my warm ups. The old boy was still there, with young son waiting to go to the tip. ‘I gather you are not coming son’ I says to young son. And he explained that he wouldn’t have come any way as he and his mates would be doing the mile any way. ‘Why don’t I join you and your mates’ I said enthusiastically to young son. ‘Eh, no you’re alright mum, we are going straight passed there any way, and going to McDonalds!’ Well I took that as ‘Don’t you even think about it mum!’
So there I was, no voice in my head to nag me to get going, no son to try and impress with my new found lease of life, and no ringing up sister, because at that time of the morning, I would get a very nasty response, I start my warm ups. The old boy is watching, young son is watching. And with his encouraging words of ’Well I’ll tell you know, I can walk that stretch of path in 15 minutes!’ ’Don’t watch me warm up’ is all I can say to that, what I should have said was, ’well come on then and prove it!’ But feeling the way I did, I knew I would have had no chance even it he had said he could do it in twenty minutes.
Talking of time, and I am not going to describe the jog to the turn around lamppost and back again, just read the above sections for that!, I had my stopwatch going. Now here’s the thing, my stopwatch is actually my mobile, which has a stopwatch function, I had the stopwatch going, I reached turnaround lamppost, and again obviously couldn’t read it due to enormous amounts of sweat, but it was seven something, and I start on the way back. I was cream crackered on the way back. I looked at my stopwatch to check the time, twelve minutes and something. I was at least five minutes from home, I really need to push myself. Still feeling like a fat walrus like thing, thundering down the path I kept on going, another quick glance at my stopwatch. NO! I can’t believe it. In my total concentration to make it home and beat my previous I had accidentally pushed the reset button as a squeezed my phone! I had no idea as to when I did that, It could have been when I looked at it last time. But from that moment on I just lost interest. ‘What was the point, if you don’t know how you are doing’ said this new voice. And I’m afraid from then I just sort of stumbled home, not knowing how I did or even if I was bothered. ‘Oh well there is always tomorrow!’ Ah there is my little motivating voice, just crawling out from all those noodles and chicken curry and rice!